The Adventures in Soulcalibur!
by DrinkerofMIlk
Summary: Watch your favorite SoulCalibur characters try to attain their goal! Whether it's world domination or killing someone, The Adventures in SoulCalibur is sure to please! :D
1. Siegfried, Hilde, And Cassandra

**The Adventures Of the Soul Calibur Characters!**

~ The Adventures of Siegfried, Hilde, and Cassandra~

"I need to kill nightmare!" Siegfried said to himself. Suddenly, He heard the bushes rumbling.

"Who goes there?"

The bush kept rumbling.

Siegfried lost his patience and cut the bush with Soul Calibur. It was Cassandra Alexandra behind the bush.

"Why were you hiding behind the bush?"

"Isn't that sword of yours... the Holy Stone?"

Siegfried face palmed. "This is the Soul Calibur you dunderhead."

"Last time I checked the Soul Calibur looked like a sword, not a butt load of crystal." Cassandra mumbled.

"Anyways I will acompany you now!" Cassandra yelled as she punched Siegfried in the arm.

"What? Why?"

"Because I'm a loner."

"Fine." Siegfried said annoyingly.

Like 5 minutes later, reached the city of Ostrheinsburg and saw a bunch of soldiers heading there. Apparently they were from the Wolfkrone Kingdom.  
"Set out east!" A female voice yelled. " Don't go there! A cliff is coming up!" Cassandra and Siegfried screamed. The soldiers were too stupid to listen and fell to their deaths.

Suddenly a female in weird wolf armor appeared before Siegfried and Cassandra. " I knew we shouldn't have had EVERY ABLE man in Wolfkrone to do this."  
Siegfried and Cassandra just kept staring at her.

"Uh... I'm Si..Si..Siegfried. That's Cassandra." Siegfried said hesitantly.

"Nice to meet you Sir Siegfried and ...Cassandra."

"I am Hildegard Von Krone, Princess of The Wolfkrone Kingdom. But you can call me Hilde for short!" Hilde said with confidence.

"So um... are you heading to Ostrheinsburg?"

"Yes!" Cassandra said to Hilde's face. "And you and your metal butt can't come!" Cassandra scowled.

"But why?" Hilde and Siegfried said at the same time. "Because there are already 2 people in this team! 3 people would make the team odd!

"Too bad. Now we are an odd number!" Siegfried proclaimed.

"So that means I'm in?

"Correctamundo!"

Cassandra made a weird face a Siegfried. After 20 minutes of arguing, they set off.

_Will Cassandra ever accept Hilde?_

_Will they encounter the other characters in the roster?_

_Do other characters get their own adventure?_

_And why did Siegfried let her in their so- called "team?"_

All those answers and more will be revealed in the next chapter.

SO TUNE IN NEXT TIME! :D


	2. Astaroth, Zasalamel, and SOPHITIA!

~The Adventures of Astaroth and Zasalamel!~

"You said you would give me my axe if i follow you! Astaroth cried. "You will get it back once we find more explosives!" Zasalamel said annoyingly.

They walked like 10 zillion freaking miles and ended up in Eurydice Shrine in Greece. "I know for a fact that Tira has explosives." Zasalamel said confidently.

"You're stupider than me , Jamel or whatever! This is Sophitia's Stage!" Astaroth whined. Zasalamel face palmed. "You dingus! Tira stalks Sophitia!"

" Bad Astaroth!" Zasalamel said. Astaroth then put tape on his mouth.

****  
~ The Adventures of Siegfried, Hilde, And Cassandra~

"Why did we ever listen to you Cassandra? Ostrheinsburg was right there and you lead us to some stupid city!" Hilde yelled.

"Nananananannana I'm not listening Hil-DAY! Why is your name spelled that way? Hilda is supposed to be spelled with an A! Cassandra started poking Hilde.

" Why didn't you stop her Siegfried?" Hilde said irritantly? Siegfried just kept staring at Hilde.

It was gonna be a long way to Ostrheinsburg.

***

"Have you seen Tira?" Zasalamel asked?

"I'm pretty sure she's living with Nightmare in Ostrheinsburg Castle." Sophitia said. "HAHAH I knew I was right!"

Astaroth yelled as ripped of the tape on his mouth.

"Whose the Dingushole now Jamel?" Astaroth said with pride.

Zasalamel and Sophitia face palmed.

Well then I guess we will set off then.

"Oh can I come then? I need to beat the shat outta Tira!" Sophitia said as she was gathering her weapons.

"Fine then." And so they left.

30 minutes later.  
" Sophitia! Sophitia! Dangit Sophitia Where you at?" Rothion Screamed.

" Ah shat. She left."

"Well i'm not staying with that demon child Pyrra"! Rothion took one of Sophitia's weapons and set off.

***

_Will Siegfried, Hilde, and Cassandra ever reach Ostrheinsburg?_

_Will Astaroth and Zasalamel ever find Tira or explosives?_

_Will Astaroth stop calling Zasalamel "Jamel?"_

_Why did Sophitia Join Astaroth?_

_And Why is Pyrra a Demon?_

_All those questions and more will be answered in the next chapter._

SO TUNE IN FOOLS


	3. Nightmare, Tira, and Rothion

~The Adventures of Tira and Nightmare~

"Master Nightmare! When will we go hunt for more souls?" Tira said as show bowed down to him.

"Actually there were just a bunch of soldiers that died just now and-" Tira cutoff Nightmare and said,

" When will you kick the living shiznits out of Siegfried?" "STOP ASKING QUESTIONS! Now get your weapons and lets search for more souls."

They eventually went to the forest and found a bunch of Generic Lizardmen. " GRRRR" The majority of them said. "WAKA WAKA you're dead FAGS!"

The purple lizardman said. Tira knew exactly who that was and killed it in a fraction of a second. Its final words were " lets be friends!" " This soul sucks balls!" Nightmare whined. It was going to be a while before they find a good soul.

*****

Astaroth, Zasalamel, and Sophitia eventually ended up in China. They found this Lotus Garden in the Ming empire. And they saw Xianghua and Kilik.

"HEY IT'S KILIK!" Astaroth gleed with excitement! "What are you doing here Astarock" Xianghua said as she giggled. " It's not Astarock, it's ASTAROTH!"

Astaroth grumbled. "It's Astarock because you mooched off of Rock's moves!" Astaroth fought the urges to slap her face- or his. "Have you doofaces

seen Tira?" Zasalamel said as politely as he could? "Why?!" Kilik said with suspicion. "1st, we need to jack her explosives and- " Sophitia cut in.  
"WE NEED TO BEAT THE SHAT OUTTA HER!" Sophitia said as her pure blue eyes turned red. "I know for a fact that they are on their way to the Silk Road"

Kilik bellowed. Astaroth,Zasalamel,and Sophitia grunted. Silk Road was like another 40 freaking billion miles away.

******

"Welcome to London" The sign read. " How the freak did we get to London? Ostrheinsburg was inches away from us until knock-off Sophitia lead us here!"

Hilde complained. " Shut up Hil-DAY! Besides, Ivy has a gigantic-" Siegfried cutoff Cassandra and said "Rack?" Siegfried added. "No, well yeah, and a mansion.

"Then lets go to her place!" Hilde cried! The terrible threesome trotted off.

*****

" How generic can lizardman get? I see them in every game!" Tira said as she switched from her jolly side to her gloomy side.

" Stop that mindless chatter! Let's go to Greece!" Nightmare proclaimed! "Why?!" Tira said in her jolly side. "Because I feel like it dillhole. Now lets move!"

"Oh look it's man Sophitia!" Tira giggled. " My name's Rothion. You're the one whose" "Aren't you Sophitia's wife?" Nightmare asked. " NO DUR!" Tira and

Rothion said sacastically.

"So what are you doing here?" Nightmare asked politely. "Looking for my wife Sophitia. Say.. have you seen her?"

"No but we're looking for strong souls which your wife has" " My daughter Pyrra is perfect for-"

"WANNA COME WITH US!?" Jolly Tira bellowed. "Sure!"

They all linked hands and skipped away!

*************************************************************************

They didn't notice while they were skipping but someone with spiky hair was peaking behind the tree.

"You're not as evil as me" The spiky haired person mumbled and fluttered away.

****

_Will Kilik and Xianghua get their own adventure?_

_Will Siegfried, Hilde, and Cassandra find Ivy's mansion?_

_Will Astaroth and his team ever find Tira or more explosives?_

_Do any other characters come?_

_And why don't most questions get answered?_

All those answers and more will come in the next chapter.

TUNE IN


	4. Algol and The Bonus Characters

~Algol and the Bonus Characters~

"Nightmare thinks he's badder than me? He thinks he can waltz around Ostrheinsburg and kill my favorite lizardman?And have Man-Sophitia on their team? " Algol said as he was throwing darts at a picture of a Nightmare.  
"Actually, Nightmare never said he was badder than you." Angol Fear said as she was sipping tea.  
"Also, Man-Sophitia is Sophitia's husband , Rothion." Ashlotte said in a monotone voice.

" And it was Tira who killed your favorite lizardman, sir." Shura added. Algol's face turned all red and destroyed the dartboard.

"Then it's settled! We will avenge the Purple Lizardman by killing Nightmare and Tira! Now get the other 2 bonus characters and

let's bounce!" Algol yelled as he lifted his arm in victory!

*  
~The Adventures of Siegfried, Hilde, and Cassandra~

"FRIGGIN A! SHE'S NOT HERE!" Hilde screamed as she ripped the note from the gate.

"The door is unlocked though. Maybe we should sleep in her house. It prolly has like a zillion bedrooms." Siegfried added.

"Fine then." Hilde mumbled. Cassandra and Siegfried already ran in before she could turn around.

" HOLY SHATZ THIS HOUSE IS HUGE!" They all yelled. There words were repeated by an echo. Soon they all split in separate directions.

As Cassandra was walking around, she felt something watching her. The only thing there was a busty portrait of Ivy. "NYUHHH HILDE!" Cassandra cried and ran out of the hall.

"Wow she has a hot spring in her backyard!" Hilde thought to herself. "Hmm.. should i go in?" She said to herself. " OF COURSE!"

She quickly stripped of her clothes , leaving only her undergarments on and jumped in the hotspring.

*  
~The Adventures of Astaroth, Zasalamel, and Sophitia~

" What the deuce? They aren't even in the Silk Road. THEY ARE STILL IN EUROPE!" Sophitia screamed as she looked in the sky.

" How come they always give me false information!" Zasalamel's voice boomed. "Because you're not nice!" Astaroth mumbled.

"BAD ASTAROTH! TAPE YOUR MOUTH AGAIN!" Zasalamel screamed. "Now lets fly outta here!"

Zasalamel and Sophitia both got on Astaroth's back. Pretty soon Astaroth started flying through the sky.

*  
~Nightmare,Tira, and Rothion~

They reached the Tower of Remembrance but no one was there.

"GRR Algol isn't here! I wanted to jack his soul! HE MAKES THE BEST PASTRIES!" Nightmare roared.

" WOAH A NOTE!" Tira said as she squeeled.

It said:

_To whom it may concern,_

_I ALGOL and THE BONUS CHARACTERS have gone a journey to beat up Nightmare,Tira, and Man- Sophitia._

_Who knows when we'll be back._

_Oh and you're the mailman, leave the mail under the mat. So there._

_If something happens to this tower, all of you are doomed! NO JOKE._

_Sincerly,  
Algol and the Bonus characters._

" SHAT THEY ARE GUNNA BEAT OUR BUTTS!" Rothion screamed. He started running in circles until he tripped on a rock and passed out.

Nightmare chuckled " Don't worry baby Rothion! We have Soul Edge!"

Tira said in her gloomy side " YOU IDIOT HE HAS BOTH SOUL EDGE AND SOUL CALIBUR!"

"Then we are screwed then."

Nightmare, Tira, and Rothion sat on the Soul edge.

It started hovering through the air with blazing speeds.

*************

"SIR ALGOL WHAT IS THAT" Kamikirimusi yelled.

There were 3 figures riding on some contraption. Algol quickly shot it down with Soul Calibur.

"Whatever it was, it's prolly dead!" Algol said joyfully.

*****************

"HILDE! CASSANDRA! WHERE ARE YOU!" Siegfried cried.

He started running and eventually ran into Cassandra. "Where is Hild-ee?" Cassandra said playfully.

"This place is weird." Siegfried said in a scary tone.

After walking for 10 minutes they noticed an open screen door.

"Ahhhh. This is the life" Hilde said to herself. Suddenly she heard voices. Those voices were none other than Cassandra and Siegfried.

"Woahhhh Hilde!" Siegfried screamed. "Can i join you?"

Hilde threw a rock at Siegfried's head. " This place is creepy. Lets Leave!" Cassandra said.

"Relax... sit in this hot spring and all your troubles will be gone!" Hilde said in a relaxed tone.

Siegfried some how changed really quick and jumped in the pool. "C'mon JOIN US!" Hilde and Siegfried screamed!

"That hot spring has some drug in it!" Cassandra screamed in horror. After 5 minutes of arguing she finally gave in.

*******

Astaroth, Zasalamel, and Sophitia somehow ended up in Japan. They found this large underground sanctum.

" Why are there are there ninja corpses here" They all yelled except Astaroth, who was mumbling behing the tape.

"MWAHHHHAHMWAHAM!! You fell into my trap!!" a male voice boomed.

"AHHAGAHAGAHAHAHHAHHHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!" They all screamed in terror.

********

_Does the hot spring have some drug in it?_

_Will Siegfried make a move on Hilde?_

_Was there really something watching Cassandra?_

_Will Algol and his team realize the thing they shot down was Nightmare?_

All those questions and more will be answered in the next chapter.

TUNE IN FOO'!


	5. The 'BAZONGA' team

**I DON'T OWN THE SOUL CALIBUR FRANCHISE, IT'S CHARACTERS, OR ANY OTHER FRANCHISE MENTIONED HERE.**

**OH AND REVIEW!!**

* * *

~ Adventures of Ivy, Taki, and Setsuka~

Days before the start of everyone's adventure.....

"HURRY UP IVY!!! WE'RE GONNA MISS THE FERRY!" Taki and Setsuka screamed.

Ivy quickly stuck the note on the gates of her mansion and scurried off.

* * *

"So where are we going?" Ivy said as she was "adjusting" her outfit.

"Germany." Taki said as she gave Ivy a weird look. "We're gonna steal the Soul Calibur." Setsuka mentioned as she was also "adjusting" her top.

"After, we are going to kill Zasalamel because he started this all."

"But wasn't it Siegfried who started the whole nightmare thing?" Ivy added.

"YEAH! LET'S KILL HIM TOO!" Taki screamed.

*****************************************************

~The Adventures of Nightmare, Tira, and Rothion~

Nightmare, Tira, and Rothion were happily riding the Soul Edge as they were on their way back to Ostrheinsburg.  
Seconds later, they were shot down by some icy,blue, crystal projectile that sent them crashing.

"AHAHHAHHAHAHHHGHGHAHAGHGHGHAHAHGHGHAHAHGHGHHGHH!!!!!!"Tira and Rothion screamed in terror. Nightmare and Tira soon landed in a patch of grass.

"Where am I? Tira? Nightmare?" Rothion cried. He was surrounded by Generic thugs like Assasin and Berjerker..err.. Berserker.

"Uh what moves do I remember from Sophitia?" Rothion thought. The only things he could remember was those impossible air combos, "Holy Cracker,"and "Heaven's Arch."

"UGH! Do I really have to do that to them?"

Suddenly an Assasin came up to him and said " HAH HAHA! SHHHOW!"

Rothion immediately took the thug's head, sat on its neck, and cracked it.

***********************************************************

~ Algol and the Bonus Characters~

Algol and the Pussycats- I mean Bonus Characters eventually came to an Indian Port.

"Scheherazade! Do we know anyone who would be in an Indian PORT?" Algol emphasized PORT for some reason.

"Well.... there's Maxi?"

" YOU FLETCHER! MAXI IS WITH KILIK AND XIANGHUA!" Algol screamed at Scheherazade's face. Algol was too stupid to notice Maxi right behind him.

" Genius he's right there." Shura mumbled. Algol turned around and grabbed Maxi by the foot.

************************************************************

~The Adventures of Astaroth, Zasalamel, and Sophitia~

"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!! You'll never escape Taki and friends!" The voice boomed.

All three of them(including Astaroth) face palmed. "YOU STUPID WHARF! WE'RE NOT TAKI AND FRIENDS!" Zasalamel screamed as loud as he could.

"Oh my bad!" the voice said which revealed to be Mitsurugi and Yoshimitsu in the backround. "Say... have you seen her?" Yoshimitsu buzzed.

"No. But if you go to Germany, you'll probably find them." Sophitia screamed. Yoshimitsu started doing his deathcopter move and flew off with Mitsurugi holding on to his waist.

"You know, I think we should follow them!" Astaroth bellowed.

"GOOD ASTAROTH! HERE'S A TREAT!" Zasalamel said in a toddler voice and gave him a slice of meat.

Afterwards, They flew on Astaroth and followed Yoshimitsu.

***************************************************************

~The Adventures of Siegfried, Hilde, and Cassandra~

After getting all pruny from the hot spring, they went to Ivy's bed ,which was like a mile big.

"Hey I thought you needed that armor to survive Siegfried?!" Hilde said as she hit Cassandra with a pillow.

"Uh no...as long as I have long hair." Siegfried said as he grabbed a comb.

"CAN WE COMB YOUR HAIR?!" Hilde and Cassandra squeeled. "Fine."  
30 minutes later....

Cassandra and Hilde stared at Siegfried like fangirls as his blonde hair flowed.

"You look so.................................................................... PRETTY!" Cassandra giggled. Siegfried frowned until he saw Hilde.

She just sat there, staring at him. "Hilde? HILDE? YO HILDE?" Siegfried said in a wangster voice.

"Hah maybe you should kiss her!" Cassandra said as she stared into his turquoise eyes. "Perfect idea!" Siegfried said as he did a victory arm pump.

As he started to inch toward her face,

She got redder,

and Redder,

and REDDER,

and So RED

When his lips were about to touch hers, Hilde poked Siegfried's eyes.  
"HAH you can do that next time we find a hot spring!" Hilde winked at him. Siegfried's face turned tomato red.

"OOH! Someone likes Hil-DUHH!!" Cassandra cooed as she slapped Siegfried on the back.

******************************************************************

" What the freaks? This isn't Ostrheinsburg! It's Ober-Getzenberg!" Ivy screamed in terror.

"Hah... I guess I messed up on the tickets!" Taki said as she cringed in fear.

"NEVERTHELESS! Ostrheinsburg is only 25 miles from here. WE CAN WALK IT!"

"No we can't." Setsuka moped. She pointed to the guards blocking the exit to the city as they were cleaning up the Generic Lizardmen corpses.

They tried to think of anyone they knew who lived here. The only thing they could think of was Siegfried, but _even they knew_ he didn't live come here anymore.

********************************************************************

Nightmare and Tira somehow ended up in some money pit.

Tira's eyes fluttered open. She saw Nightmare getting beat up by Voldo. She went to go get her Eiserne Drossel, but then she remembered the last time she tussled with Voldo.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"SHHHH SHHH SHH!!!" Voldo said in amusement as he crushed Tira's head with his thighs. "NYAHAAHHAAHHAAH!" Tira screamed in agony.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Suddenly, She heard a death cry. It was Nightmare's. Voldo gleed with excitement.

Then, he looked at Tira.

"Ah shat, I'm screwed." Tira thought to herself.

********************************

_Will Siegfried ever find another hotspring?_

_Will Rothion use Sophitia's 'throws' on all of the thugs?_

_Will Tira get killed by Voldo?_

_Do Ivy , Setsuka, and Taki ever leave Ober-Getzenberg?_

_And will Algol get a longer segment on a chapter?_

All that and more will be revealed in the next nail-biting chapter.

SO TUNE IN AND REVIEW!


	6. Team YunSeong

**Hey Viewers! Just so you know, i don't own SoulCalibur or anything related to it!**

~Adventures of Yun-Seong, Talim,Seong Mina, and Maxi?~

A day before Algol's adventure...

"I found Maxi!" Talim screamed through the crowded Indian Market!

" HOW IN THE WORLD DID YOU FIND HIM?" Yun-Seong and Mina cried. "Uh he was standing right there.

" Now that we've found you Maxi, We'd like to ask you some questions!" All three of them said malevolently.

"GAHHH!" Maxi screamed.

* * *

~The Adventures of Rothion~

After 30 minutes of neck-cracking, Rothion finally killed off all the bonus characters from SC2.

Soon after, one of the corpses of a red assasin turned in to flames. " SHOOWWW!" The flaming corpse screeched.

"There's no way I'm burning my crotch for that!" Rothion thought to himself. He tried to remember one of Sophitia's unblockable attacks.

"I've got it!" Rothion screamed triumphantly. "FOR GREECE!" He charged at the Flaming thing.

* * *

~The Adventures of Siegfried, Hilde, and Cassandra~

It seemed that night in Ivy's mansion never happened. Hilde was as uptight as ever. She got extremely furious at Cassandra for breaking her armor.

"Great what am I supposed to wear now?!" Hilde screamed to the sky.

"I've got some extra clothes!" Cassandra said as she brought them out.

"YOUR CLOTHES ARE UGLY!" Hilde growled as she spit on them." YOU'RE LUCKY I DON'T RING OUT ALL OF YOU!"

Siegfried was resting near a tree until he heard battle cries. "NO WAY!" Siegfried cooed in delight!  
"CATFIGHT!"

Siegfried questioned that Hilde and Cassandra had life bars and soul gauges.

* * *

~Algol and the Bonus Characters~

"Maxi! You're coming with us!" Ashlotte said in a really deep voice. " I can't. I have to stay here." Maxi shrugged. It looked like he hadn't had sleep for a while.

"How long have you been staying in this spot?" Algol boomed.

"Two days."

~ The BAZONGA TEAM~

The Bazonga Team decided to stay at Siegfried's house.

"Woah! Since when did Siegfried have short hair?" Ivy chuckled.

"LOL! I remember that!" Taki rotflol'd. " Li-Long dared Siegfried to grow out his hair!"

"Who's Li-Long?" Setsuka said in confusion.

" Oh no one important."

While they were sleeping the front door opened.

"WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE IN MY HOUSE?!" The woman screamed to the top of her lungs.

The three of them immediately brought out their weapons.

* * *

~The Adventures of Tira and Nightmare~

As Tira tried to reach out for her weapon, Voldo immediately went on mantis crawl and chased after her.

"OH SHOOT!" Tira said in her Jolly Side. Right when she grabbed her weapon, she went into her Gloomy side.

But then she noticed something.

Voldo had a soul gauge bleeping red over his head. " This is for crushing me with your thighs!" Tira jolted.

Tira broke his guard and a red flash appeared.

"Perfect."

* * *

~ The adventures of Astaroth,Zasalamel, and Sophitia~

"Ahh yes Ostrheinsburg Castle!" Zasalamel whispered to himself.

"You weird! Stop talking to yourself!" Astaroth said as he landed into the castle throne room.

"QUIET ASTAROTH! Or I'll tape your mouth again!"

"TIRA! WHERE ARE YOU!" Sophitia said in a monsterous voice.

They all groaned as the saw a red sticky note on a chair.

**********************************

_Who will win the battle? Hilde or Cassandra?_

_Why did Yun-Seong and his team need Maxi?_

_Why was Maxi there for two days?_

_Who was the female who busted into Siegfried's house?_

_And why is this chapter so short?_

All that and more will be answered next chapter...

**SO STAY TUNED AND REVIEW!**

_* Ending song plays*_


	7. Kilik and Xianghua

**Just so you viewers know, I don't own SoulCalibur or anything related to it!**

**~* Adventures in SoulCalibur *~**

**Kilik n Xianghua**

" Astaroth smells like crap." Xianghua whispered to Kilik as they watched Zasalamel and the rest walk off.

" I think it's because of the things Zasalamel feeds him." Kilik said in a nasally voice.

" Well I think it's time to leave this dumpy temple, Xianghua. Let's travel the world!"

" I wanna go to Ostrheinsburg!" Xianghua cried. "Just kidding!"

Kilik face palmed as he walked off.

* * *

**Setsuka, Taki, and Ivy**

_WAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH_!! The three screamed. The woman pulled out a giant zweihandler that destroyed their weapons.

"Who the hell are you three?!" The woman yelled as she went out of the shadows.

"NO YOU!" The three replied.

" I'm Margaret Schtauffen and this is my house."

" I think I've heard that last name before.." Taki thought.

* * *

**Astaroth, Sophitia, and Zasalamel**

_Dear servants and visitors,_

_I, the great Nightmare and servant Tira have headed out._

_Please don't screw up the castle because if you do, I'll devour your souls ( which I'll eventually do)_

_Love,_

_Nightmare and Tira._

Sophitia B2BBB'd the sticky note.

"I've got it! I know where there are now!" Astaroth cried.

"WHERE! TELL ME NOW!" Zasalamel grabbed Astaroth.

"I'm not telling unless you 'pologize to me"

Astaroth pull down his pants and showed his butt to Zasalamel.

_Apologizeeeee..._

* * *

**Siegfried, Hilde, and Cassandra**

_AHHHHH!! _Cassandra screamed her death cry. **RINGOUT!**

"Heh that's what the Doom Combo is for!" Hilde chuckled.  
Cassandra soon climbed back onto the stage.

Siegfried clapped until a shadow breezed by. It seemed to be some kind of green goblin.

_Judge me by my size you should not..._

_"_NOT YODA!!"

_AHHHHHHH!!!_ They all screamed in terror.  
Cassandra jumped right back into the water.

* * *

**Algol and the Bonus Characters**

" Ok tell us what happened Maxi." Shura said motherly.

" H-h-h-h-h-h-he u-u-used the bub-bub-bub-bubbles on m-me!" Maxi studdered as he was crying.

"Who did?" Asholotte and Scherazade asked at the same time.

" Who is the only guy w-w-who has-s the m-m-ost painful Critical finish??" Maxi wailed.

"I knew that Apprentice guy was no good!" Algol said valiantly.

Maxi wailed even louder.

"C'mon Maxi, let's fix you up." Angol Fear said gently.

* * *

**Tira and Nightmare**

_SHHHHHKHHSHHSHSHSH!!! _Voldo screamed his death cry.

" I never wanna do my Critical Finish on Voldo again.." Tira soaped her tongue.

"Look! There's the exit!" Nightmare threw Soul Edge at the exit.

Nightmare and Tira rode off in the night on the Soul edge.

"**Se**What happened to Rothion?" Gloomy Tira thought.

* * *

**Rothion and Cervantes?**

_WAAKSSHSHSHSH!!!_ The flaming thing cried. This thing was none other than Inferno.

"You think you're so cool with you flames, wait till you see my flame-ee moves!" Rothion charged.

_Rothion used Sophitia's 44aB _"HIYAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!" Rothion attacked with his flame-ee move.

The flaming thing collapsed and became some kind of ghost pirate.

"Didn't the same thing happen to us 7 years ago , Sophitia?" Cervantes mumbled.

" I AM NOT SOPHITIA!!" Rothion yelled as he 44k'd Cervantes.

* * *

**Seong Mi-na, Talim, and Yun-Seong**

"Maxi, if you don't tell us anything...... Then I'll have to hurt you." Yun-Seong said in a gloomy voice.

" BUT I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ITS WHEREABOUTS!" Maxi waved in his face.

"Maxi don't make me-" Mi-na was cutoff as she pulled out her weapon.

" Don't make you do what?" Maxi said as he pulled out his nunchuckas out behind his back.

" See now we have to because you interrupted me!" Mi-na said as she tried to attack with her Scarlet Thunder.

* * *

_Will more characters come?_

_What happened to Maxi?_

_How did Yoda get in this Story?_

_Why do people think Rothion looks like his wife?_

_How does Astaroth know where Nightmare and Tira are and why did he show his butt to Zasalamel?_

And most importantly...

_WHY DO THE CHARACTER SECTIONS GET SHORTER AND SHORTER???_

**All that and more will be answered next time.**

**SO STAY TUNED!!!**

_Ending song plays_


	8. Pedobear and Beloved

**I don't own SoulCalibur, anything related to it, and any franchises/famous quotes/etc. mentioned here so yeah! *Remember to Review!***

_Welcome back to the Stage of History suckas!_

**~*Adventures in SoulCalibur!*~**

**Raphael and Amy**

" Faster wench! Faster!" Raphael screamed at Jacqueline as he was giving him a piggy back ride.

" Shouldn't it be me who should be having the piggy back ride?" Amy said depressingly.

"SILENCE! YOU SHALL SPEAK WHEN I SAY!"

The argument soon came into a hault when they arrived at the city of Ostrheinsburg.

" I SHALL HAVE THE NEW CHARACTER HILDE AS MY NEW WIFE!" Raphael proclaimed.

" But she's like a decade younger than you and she's going of with Siegfried right?" Amy pointed out. "She's old enough to be my older sister."

"SILENCE I SHALL MARRY WHOEVER I WANT!"

" Wait what? She's going out with Siegfried? I thought he was asexual?"

" He's dated more characters than you think.." The wolf-head guy pointed out.

" LIES!! I CARRY THE RECORD FOR THAT! " Raphael slashed the wolf-head guy's arm.

"If I have to kill Siegfried so Hilde can be mine.. I WILL!"

" COG!!!" Raphael screamed.

" This isn't Gears of War, Raphael sir." Jacqueline butted in.

" Well Bamco didn't put team names in the games did they?"

* * *

**Siegfried, Hilde , and Cassandra**

" Ok I think were far away from it!" Cassandra hyperventilated.

" Where the heck are we now?" Siegfried pulled his hair.

" We're at my house.. bahhhh." Hilde groaned loudly.

" It's not a freaking house it's a ginormous castle!" Cassandra and Siegfried screamed at the same time.

Some woman greeted the three and led them inside the castle.

*****

"Ok guys, I want you to meet someone." Hilde led them into a room high in a tower.

" This is my father... He's been like this ever since the evil seed was unleashed into this world."

_!!_ The man in the cell convulsed.

" I wonder what unleashed the evil seed?" Cassandra wondered.

" Haha me too!" Siegfried tried his hardest to laugh and his eye twitched.

***

"Siegfried!" Gerhilde screamed. "IT'S TIME!"

" !!!" Siegfried screamed in agony.

* * *

**Seong Mi-na, Yun-Seong, and Talim**

" I don't think this chum knows where it is." Talim said as she threw Maxi.

" Pl-pl-please spare me!" Maxi cried.

The three of them left him there to rot.

" Let's cross Maxi pad off the list." Mi-na scoured.

" I believe it is Kilik who is our next target." Yun-Seong unsheathed his sword

"We must travel to the training grounds then!" Talim jumped.

_AND THE BATTLE OF LOW TIER AND MID TIER COMMENCES!_

* * *

**Algol and the Pussycats .. . I mean Bonus Characters**

" Those bastards are going to pay for what they've done to you Maxi!" Algol fist pumped.  
" I'LL AVENGE YOU!"

"I'm afraid you can't do that , sir." Angol Fear tutted her weapon into the ground. " S'not going to fit in our kill Nightmare schedule."

" Then send out assasins or something!"

"Already done sir!" Scheherazade beamed.

_I don't care about his situation, sir. _

_Those who mess with the dark side get messed up._

_...._

"Where's the third one?" Kamikirimusi put her foot down.

" He... disappeared..a...while..a..go...._*breathing sounds* ."_ Darth Vader lifted his index finger.

"Don't tell me he went out in Ranked?!?!!?" Algol boomed.

" I'm afraid he did ,sir." The Apprentice face palmed.

All their faces turned sour once they realized what Yoda could be doing...

**

* * *

**

** Yoda**

" Run you may, but you cannot hide!" Yoda spoke to himself.

" Worthy of these people are not to fight me. " _I'm not sure if that even made sense _Yoda thought to himself.

"GTFO OF THIS GAME!" 4 figures cried.

" Die, prepare to!" Yoda charged.

* * *

**Setsuka, Taki, and Ivy**

" Wait so you're Siegfried's Mother?" Taki asked.

" Yes I am. I don't even know where he is right now.." Margaret looked into the ceiling.

" Did you know that-- _mmmprururbhhh " _Setsuka covered Ivy's mouth and said " We're looking for him too!"

" I was wondering - if you three could bring me my son back?" Margaret grinned widely.

Ivy broke out of Setsuka's grasp and said " Your not going to marry him like some weird broken up families do right?"

" Ohh of course not! I just haven't seen him in 10 years. A mother worries you know!"

" Well then ... I Taki, rogue ninja of the Fu-ma clan !"

" and I Setsuka, wanderer of Japan!"

" And also I Ivy Valentine, prestigious scientist!"

_In the name of the moon, we will punish you!_

_What?_

" Uhm we promise to bring back your son!" The three of them screamed at the same time!

" Oh jolly good! But you can't by wearing those things that you call clothes!"

And so Margaret took the three of them shopping not only for clothes, but for sports bras.

* * *

**Rothion and Cervantes**

" So you see, it's all the emo girl's fault for cursing my child. I'm trying to find my wife since she ran off with some team."

" OH I see.. Well we can't find them by just standing here.. Let's go on my ghostly ship!" Cervantes cried

**

Cervantes' crew consisted of many ugly CaS with decapitated appendages.

" Sir we are heading to Ostrheinsburg."

" Go faster!" Cervantes spit in the ugly hulk CaS' face.

" The the tide won't let me."

" Is it the tide controlling this ship?"

'' No sir it's just.."

" If I Rung you out again would these so called tides think twice about drowning you?"

" No sir."

" GOOD NOW FASTER!"

"That's how you get people to do you bidding!" Cervantes nudged at Rothion.

* * *

**Astaroth, Sophitia, and Zasalamel**

Zasalamel slowly puckered his lips and approached the buttocks.

He closed his eyes extremely tight and his face turned sour from the putrid smell.

_MWAH! _Zasalamel soon after vomited. "Now tell me where are they?!?!"

Astaroth smiled and clapped at himself " They are with Voldo!"

"What gives you the idea that they are with Voldo?" Sophitia played with her hair.

" I heard Nightmare'ee's death cry and I knew dat only Vold's Gold could only knock-out Nightmare!"

" Bah so we have to travel all the way to Italy?" Zasalamel soaped his mouth.

" Oh it's not that far, unless you fly."

* * *

**Kilik and Xianghua**

" Xianghua we cannot proceed with our part of this chapter if you don't tell me where to go!"

" India! Just Kidding! France! Just Kidding!

_BAHHHHH_

* * *

**Tira and Nightmare**

"Rothion! O Rothion!" Tira screamed joyfully.

" Rothion! Here boy! Come here!" Nightmare played along.

Suddenly, Tira's gloomy side came in and said " You realize that Rothion is not a dog and that he wouldn't be in a Space Station?"

Nightmare 6B'd Tira and 2kkk'd her and said " YOU LED ME HERE SO DON'T TELL ME I'M WRONG!"

_Suddenly, the works of John Williams start playing._

"OH NOO!! " They both screamed.

* * *

_Why is this chapter so long all of a sudden?_

_What is Gerhilde planning on doing to Siegfried?_

_Why did Siegfried twitch when Cassandra asked that question?_

_What's on Team Yun-Seong's list and what is it for?_

_Why is Yoda trolling on Ranked?_

_How come Kilik's adventure has never progressed?_

And most importantly...

_WHY DID ZASALAMEL HAVE TO KISS SOME ASTAROTH ASS??_

**All that and more will be answered in the next mind-blowing, nail biting, saliva inducing chapter.**

**SO STAY TUNED FOO'S**

*****_Main Title from Star Wars Plays*_


End file.
